


I Promised.

by Skeleton_Wolf



Series: Sterek Short Stories! [10]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Character Death, Fic Graveyard, Goodbyes, Letters, M/M, Not Happy, Other (teen Wolf) characters mentioned, Sad, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-30 01:34:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20806322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeleton_Wolf/pseuds/Skeleton_Wolf
Summary: Derek wrote Stiles a letter in case it all went downhill. Stiles has read over that letter more times than he can count.





	I Promised.

_ Dear Stiles, _

_ If you are reading this then I am sorry. _

_ I promised you I would return and I broke that promise, I tried not to. I tried as hard as I could to get back to you but, since you are reading this, they were too strong or maybe there were too many of them. Either way, I'm sure we saved as many people as we could and I'm sure Chris will tell you all about it when he gets back. If he gets back. _

_ Remember I love you. Remember I'm sorry. _

_ I promised you we'd spend the rest of our lives together and I had planned to make it so, I had planned to propose once I got back and I know it might be selfish to tell you but I’m also sure you figured it out a while ago. If you want the ring, I gave it to your father to look after while I was away. _

_ I want to thank you, Stiles, the love of my life, as cheesy as that sounds. I want to thank you for always being there for me, for listening when no one else would, for never turning me away when I needed you. You saved me more times than I thought anyone would ever care to do, and by doing that you showed me that I am someone who can be cared about. That’s something I had thought untrue for too long. _

_ So thank you for loving me and for letting me love you. Thank you for being able to look past my prior actions, my previous mistakes and my flaws and for seeing me instead of them. And most importantly, thank you for always being you because it gave me hope. You gave me hope. _

_ I wish we could’ve met years before we did so we could have spent more time together. And maybe I would be a better person today; maybe I would still be alive today. _

_ You always brought out the best in me, Stiles Stilinski. I can only wish you to move on and live your life, if not for you then for me. I am sorry that I left you, I know you’ve lost a lot - too much - already and you don’t deserve any more pain and I wish I could be there to help you through this but then there would be no _ this _ that you had to go through. I wish that were the case. _

_ When we first got together you said something that has always stuck in my head, you said, _ “Derek, you need to know that it’s all or nothing with me so no going off and leaving me because of some dumb hero act because I will know and I won’t let you go.” _ At first, I thought it was odd until I realised that it was a way of protecting yourself - and, in a way, me - and keeping control of a situation you believed you had no power over since you can’t control your heart. And I thought about it a lot because I also realised it showed just how much you were afraid of being left again. It wasn’t just the words though, it was your scent - scared and something I later came to find out was love - and the way you spoke, with such vulnerability and such conviction that I knew I couldn’t leave you for fear of losing you. I could never lose _ you _ . _

_ I had promised, that same day, that I would never do that to you for those reasons but also because I was already so deeply in love with you that the idea of losing you or pushing you away hurt. I guess I broke that promise, in a way neither of us would’ve gotten back then. I didn’t offer to bring you along and yes it was because you have important work here but it was also for fear of losing you, I knew if I offered you wouldn’t have turned me down. _

_ Maybe it would’ve saved me, maybe it would’ve killed you. We’ll never know. But I did leave you here for a hero act, though we both know it was not dumb, and for that I am sorry. _

_ Then the first time you told me that you loved me, you said that it was important I know that this is a _ “forever thing” _ and I told you that the same went for me. That is still true. The vows we may never get to speak say “ _ Til death do us part” _ but I don’t think that’s true, at least not for me. I think not even death can stop me from loving you. _

_ I feel I should say more and I know that I will think of more later but later will be too late. So I want to sum up what I’m trying to say. _

_ I’m so sorry. You, my beautiful, amazing, clever, funny and so much more, boyfriend - maybe one day fiance, maybe one day husband - will forever be the one I love. You are strong and independent and _ you _ are my inspiration. I love you so much sometimes I wonder if this is all a dream before I remember that I would not be able to dream up such a perfect human being. I hope your life will go on. Thank you, for everything, you have kept me afloat and have been slowly bringing me to shore these past few years and I hope you can do the same for someone else. Don’t let me keep you back; keep you from loving again. Despite this and despite how selfish it is, I hope you never forget me. I hope never stop loving me. _

_ Please forgive me. I love you. Goodbye, my love, my moon and my stars, my world and my everything. _

_ Derek. _

He placed a single black rose in the soft grass, “I love you, Derek. I will always forgive you, though there is nothing to forgive. Thank you for always being there for me. I’m sorry I didn’t come with you, I should have, and I’m sorry that I can’t move on.” His voice, despite being quiet, rang through the empty graveyard so loud it caused him to flinch. “I miss you, I wish you were here.” He re-folded the paper, careful as to not rip it along the worn creases and slipped it back into the small, dark blue box next to the beautiful, gleaming black ring that held, embedded in the centre, a small black diamond that glinted in the moonlight.

Standing up he wiped the tears that had betrayed him and walked over to his pack who had left to give him a moment alone. Scott wrapped his arms around him like he had done every year before and they all made their way back to the Hale house to curl up on the sofa around a drowning Stiles in an attempt to keep him breathing.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed that, please comment and/or leave kudos if you want. Thanks for reading, have a great day, bye!
> 
> P.S. if you have any tips on how I could improve my writing that is also welcome. :)


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